me to my cat: pleas stpo pushn every goddamnd thing off my desk im beggin pleas
my cat:
A sixteen-year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150.
His parents look at the truck and ask, “Where did you get that truck?!”
“I bought it today,” he says.
“With what money?” says his mother.
They knew what a new F150 cost.
“Well,” he says, “this one cost me just fifteen dollars.”
The father looks at him like he’s crazy.
“Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?” he says.
“It was the lady up the street,” says the boy. “I don’t know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy her F150 for fifteen dollars.”
“Oh my Goodness!” says the mother. “Maybe she’s mentally ill or has Alzheimer’s something. John, you better go see what’s going on.”
So the boy’s father walks up the street to the house where the lady lives and finds her out in the yard calmly planting petunias.
He introduces himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Ford F150 truck for fifteen dollars and asks to know why she did it.
“Well,” she says, “two days ago my husband left on a business trip. Yesterday I got a phone call from his boss and found out that he really ran off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn’t intend to come back.”
“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry,” the father says. “But what does that have to do with my son and your truck?”
“Well, this morning he called and told me he was stranded because he got robbed of his wallet with all his credit cards and cash. He told me to sell his new F150 and send him the money. So I did.”
Rami Malek is really an icon….there he goes playing main character on a critically acclaimed hacker show….there he is alongside Ben Stiller as a cute pharaoh……there he is in some horror game about wendigos and serial killers or whatever Until Dawn was…….there he is as Freddie Mercury…….what can’t this man do
this is vampire rami malek from twilight erasure
straight boys are weak and pathetic, queer girls walk into the ladies changing room and see ten women naked, do they stare? do they say something inappropriate? do they make them uncomfortable? no because they have the common fucking sense to recognise when a situation is sexual and that people deserve the most basic level of respect to not be harassed, yet here we are banning shorts and low cut tops in school because straight boys are weak and pathetic
okay i made this post this morning and it has since had eighty two thousand notes, it’s been featured on reddit, facebook, twitter i’ve been sent multiple death threats and messages that i don’t even want to describe
and i have to apologise
i’ve seen the error of my ways
straight boys are not ’weak and pathetic’
straight boys are weak, pathetic and fucking annoying
I will reblog this every time I see it posted
If I see “no mourners, no funerals” in Hot Topic I will physically fight someone
If I hear some trashy ho quoting Kaz Brekker I will throw them into a river.
![thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
“ cheskamouse:
“ thedevilspanties:
“ spart117mc:
“ viridieanfey:
“ romanimp:
“ beatnikdaddio:
“admiring the stockings. 1940’s.
”
#[40S COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCER VOICE] WHAT’S BETTER THAN THIS? GALS BEING PALS
”
Fun fact: Though...](https://66.media.tumblr.com/d795cabd63975ab508626fadd6bf03be/tumblr_njhiq2jrok1rab8xmo1_1280.jpg)
admiring the stockings. 1940’s.
Fun fact: Though being gay in the 40s sucked, being gay in the military was easier, and pretty common. There were apparently, at one point in time time so many lesbians in the military that when they tried to crack down on it, the girls wrote back and said “Look I can give you the names, but you’ll lose some of your best officers, and half your nurses and secretaries.” And they pretty much shut up about it unless you were especially bad at subtlety. (Source: Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers. A good source for gay history from 1900s onwards.)
Sergeant Phelps worked for General Eisenhower. Four decades after Eisenhower had defeated the Axis powers, Phelps recalled an extraordinary event. One day the general told her, “I’m giving you an order to ferret those lesbians out.’ We’re going to get rid of them.”
“I looked at him and then I looked at his secretary. who was standing next to me, and I said, ‘Well, sir, if the general pleases, sir, I’ll be happy to do this investigation for you. But you have to know that the first name on the list will be mine.’
“And he kind of was taken aback a bit. And then this woman standing next to me said, ‘Sir, if the general pleases, you must be aware that Sergeant Phelps’s name may be second, but mine will be first.’
“Then I looked at him, and I said, ‘Sir, you’re right. They’re lesbians in the WAC battalion. And if the general is prepared to replace all the file clerks, all the section commanders, all of the drivers—every woman in the WAC detachment—and there were about nine hundred and eighty something of us—then I’ll be happy to make the list. But I think the general should be aware that among those women are the most highly decorated women in the war. There have been no cases of illegal pregnancies. There have been no cases of AWOL. There have been no cases of misconduct. And as a matter of fact, every six months since we’ve been here, sir, the general has awarded us a commendation for meritorious service.’
“And he said, ‘Forget the order.’
- The Gay Metropolis: The Landmark History of Gay Life in America
I’ve reblogged this before but it didn’t have these comments and HOLY HOT DAMN DID IT NEED THEM.
So, when someone sits down to write a fiction about Women commandos, and a Dudebro steps in to say “Huh, that is so unrealistic huh.”
Harold… oh, Harold…sit down, shut up, and stay out of our way.
History is infinitely gayer than a lot of people want to admit <3
post-apocalyptic story where the hero’s self-assigned quest is to find a copy of a random YA book they really want to re-read but can’t b/c google/libraries are no longer a thing. they literally transverse the country out of spite looking for a copy of animorphs #28 or something. maybe they save the world along the way but it’s not really important
they saved the world but it wasn’t relevant to their story
they just wanted to be left alone so they could read their damn book in peace